[Fast Food Review] Taco Bell’s Beefy Crunch Burrito

Purchased at: Taco Bell
Cost: $.99
Reviewed by: Xaquiri Daquiri

It’s about damn time Taco Bel got another decently hearty burrito on their value menu. Ever since the omission of the Five-Layer Burrito from the Why Pay More menu, pickin’s have been slim for fat kids looking to fill their belly without emptying their pockets. And the thing is, I wasn’t a huge fan of the Five-Layer Burrito anyway. I just ate it because it was cheap and filling. In all honesty, I’ve always had a bit of a grudge against it for being the product that knocked the heavenly Double Cheesy Beef Burrito out of the under-a-single-dollar budget range.

The newest addition is one that I was ecstatic to lay my hands on. The Beefy Crunch Burrito looked like a fat kid’s wet dream come alive, and on paper, it totally was. However, I am sad to say that Taco Bell’s newest value burrito king is also its worst.

Review:

The Beefy Crunch comes loaded with beef, rice, Taco Bell’s disgusting cheese-like sauce, Mexican rice, the reduced fat sour cream Taco Bell has been using a lot lately, and Flamin’ Hot Fritos Corn Chips. How amazingly delicious does that sound? Imagine it for a second and tell me that’s not getting your juices flowing.

The thing is, it is pretty disgusting, thanks almost entirely to the awful flavor and texture the Flamin’ Hot Fritos add to the burrito. The chips have a more smokey, yet very artificial heat than what you may be used to adding to your burrito in the form of Fire Sauce, and by the time you get your food home from the drive-thru, the corn strips have lost all of their crunch are now a soggy mess of atrocious cross-marketing.

If Taco Bell wanted to add a crunchy texture, why didn’t they just add some of their tried and true lime strips? They are much better suited for the Beefy Crunch than the Fritos, and they’ve already got them in stock without having to make deals with another company and paying a percentage of every burrito sold.

I guess this is an example of Taco Bell trying to get creative with their ingredients, which is something they rarely do and are always hammered for. However, if this is the effort they put in to it, I’d think it would be safe to say that Taco Bell’s executives are made up of 17-year-old stoners with the munchies, a burrito, and a bag of Fritos.

Does it Hit the Spot?

This is hard to answer for this particular product. It is rather filling for the price, but it isn’t satisfying if you’re wanting something to taste good. So no, the Beefy Crunch misses the spot completely as far as I’m concerned.

I will certainly continue to order it, but I’ll have them hold the Fritos from now on, and I suggest you do the same because, while it may seem like an awesome idea to add corn chips to your burrito if you’re a fat kid at home, too lazy to go anywhere, it’s really just laughable when a restaurant tries to serve you the same stoner classic.

Disappointing. The chips are gross. Why can’t they just add some lime strips if they’re trying to add texture? This is pretty gross.

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