DIHTS

Purchased at: Kroger
Yield: About 9 servings
Cost: $3.29
Reviewed by: Zac Pritcher

I work at a grocery store as a bagger. Do you know what that means? It means I belong to the chain of stores I work for. I’m their slave. At times, I am their sex slave. I do what they say, when they say it. I have no input in anything that occurs in my company, nor will my opinions ever be valued by the higher ups. I push carts in 90 degree weather wearing black pants. I sweep floors, I mop spills, I clean human feces out of sinks in the bathroom, and I bag groceries with a smile on my face. I hate it.

Regardless, it’s a great place to work come lunch time. Anything I might be feeling that day is usually just a few aisles down. Of course, I also have a very tight budget. So when I’m not snacking on raman, Banquet meals, and dog food, oftentimes I’ll spend about $10 – $15 at once on food and feed off of it throughout the week. When I do this I like to get the basics: whole wheat bread, muenster, swiss, or pepper jack cheese, a 1 lb. package of lunch meat, Claussen pickles, and a bag of chips. Most recently I bought this Lay’s brand kettle cooked variety, the flavor sounding delicious and the “All Natural” label was enticing. They were a bit out of my regular budget, but I decided they would be a worthy trade over the usual bag of Funions.

Review:

Tearing into the bag with my chunky little sausage fingers, I poured out a helping of chips onto my paper towel. They’re very small, smaller than regular Lay’s, and a very squiggly in shape. No doubt from the process of kettle cooking, but they don’t seem to take the process as well as other brands like Mike-Sells. They appear to be deliciously well-seasoned, with plenty of ranch flavoring sprinkled all over the crisps.

Taking the first bite yielded mixed results. The crunch was very satisfying, and the texture of the small potato chips was excellent. The flavoring, though. Man, it’s just not very good. With a name like Harvest Ranch, you would imagine these to be a very richly-flavored ranch chip, and when you’re in the mood for ranch nothing ever really comes close. And that includes whatever the hell this spice mix is on these chips. Even if I wasn’t in a ranch mood, I don’t think I’d ever make these my chips of choice. While not terrible, they’re certainly not very good at all — definitely not $3.29 for an 8.5 oz bag good.

Though I’ve got to give credit where it’s due. The majority of kettle cooked potato chips out there are oftentimes extremely oily, and these aren’t much of an exception. However, you almost never have any problems with it because the seasoning that coats the chips acts like a barrier between you and the natural oils of the potato, thus keeping the majority off of your hands. You’ll have to deal with some flavoring on your fingers though, but sucking that stuff off isn’t exactly a punishment.

Does it Hit the Spot?

Despite the extremely satisfying crunch, these chips just barely miss the mark. I really wanted to love these, mainly because I spent almost four bucks on them, but the crispy texture isn’t enough to save them from the lackluster seasoning and misleading flavor name. These could hardly be considered ranch chips, but have just enough in common with America’s favorite flavor to warrant dropping the name “Harvest Ranch” on the bag.

These aren’t awful chips by any means, just below average chips. Trust me, there are many far superior kettle cooked potato products out there for a much better value.