[Fast Food Review] Subway’s Buffalo Chicken Fiery Footlong

Purchased at: Subway
Size: Foot long
Price: $6.29
Reviewed by: XAQuiri Daquiri

Here’s a quick excerpt of a conversation I had with my father over dinner last night”

“Dad, why don’t you love me?”

“Because you’re not a man.”

And you know what? He was right.


That’s why, in an attempt to win my father’s love and proved him I’m a man, I made a stop by Subway to grab one of the two new Fiery Footlong sandwiches. They were made in a place so hot, rattlesnakes combust spontaneously, meaning they can burn the wimp right out of me.

Needless to say, it didn’t work. I’ll get to why in a moment.

First I want to complain about the guy who made my sandwich. His name was Tony. Tony was new. Tony was very nice. Way too nice. Tony was so nice, he was completely obnoxious. Everything Tony said made me want to punch him in the balls with a knife. Tony had a loose bandage on the back of his neck, one that swayed and flapped in the breeze of the building’s air conditioning unit, spreading a wave of HIV with every flutter. At least Tony smiled, but Tony also had a habit of spitting when he attempted to pronounce certain words. Words like sorry, spit, and sandwich. I forgive you, Tony, for spitting on my sandwich.

Anyway, I got my Buffalo Chicken with Italian Herbs and Cheese bread, provolone cheese, heated instead of toasted, and topped with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onions, and ranch dressing. As is usually the case, the toppings were all fresh, the lettuce and cucumber were crispy, and the onions were crunchy.

But what about the chicken itself?

It was good, very tender and moist. Unfortunately there wasn’t quite enough of it. Either that, or Tony didn’t spread it out as much as he should have, leaving a bite’s worth of meatless bread at both ends of the sandwich, as well as in the middle. And of course the burning question on your mind pertains to the spiciness of the Buffalo Chicken.

Was it as spicy as Subway promised?


In fact, it was almost completely lacking of heat. There was a slight spiciness detectable, but of course Subway is a fast food restaurant. And all fast food restaurants are completely incapable of creating a truly spicy menu item. Why? I don’t know. Maybe we should ask Tony. He may know.

Does it Hit the Spot?

Ehhh…. sorta. It’s hard to say. It was definitely a good sammich, but it was nothing like it’s advertised. It was juicy and satisfying, the bread was great, and the toppings were good. After eating it, my hunger was definitely satisfied, but I could’ve gotten a Five Dollar Footlong Chicken Breast loaded with jalapenos and gotten twice the heat and saved a bit of cash. I recommend skipping this one and going for something a bit cheaper and even spicier if you’re looking for a spicy meal.

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6 Responses to “[Fast Food Review] Subway’s Buffalo Chicken Fiery Footlong”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Marvo and Marvo, Everyview. Everyview said: New food review! http://www.doesithitthespot.com/?p=226 Subway's Buffalo Chicken Fiery Footlong! Go check it out! […]

  2. Review Spew says:

    Subway is like a pretty girl who won’t put out. She looks really good on your date and you spend a bunch of money on her, but by the end of the night you realize you wasted your money, and go home with a pit in your stomach.

  3. Xaquiri Daiquiri says:

    I think Subway is more like a fat girl that does put out. You can turn her into whatever you want her to be, as long as you let her think you love her. Then you want it to be over between the two of you, she throws a huge fit and makes you feel bad. But you’re not the bad guy, right? You’re just tired of fat pussy.

  4. […] the full review on DIHTS.com! Tags: Fiery Footlong, Food, food review, […]

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